well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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