She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
