4 words: hood of his car
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
It's never too late to be topless.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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