I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
