the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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