also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
