Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
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