Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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