it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
