He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
