I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
