I hate all girls vehemently.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
