TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
