batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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