Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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