I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
