She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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