every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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