Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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