North Korea, Best Korea!
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
