Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
