Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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