dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
