kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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