If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
