I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My pussy is not your playground.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
