idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
did i walk over a car last night?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
