You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Randomize