I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
