Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
