She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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