lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
