it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
3pm strippers are depressing
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
