you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
