My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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