alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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