just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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