she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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