I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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