So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
