so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
