I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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