is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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