Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
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