A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
