I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
