Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
