There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
