SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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