you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
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