You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
