Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
