these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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