We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
