Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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