think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Randomize
