So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Randomize
