Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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