Sponge bath it is.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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