Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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