could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Randomize
