I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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