We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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