His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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