You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
