So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I need a burrito and a hug.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
