Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Randomize
